I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize