I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
