Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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