I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
