First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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