whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
