and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize