She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
