Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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