that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
