I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he puts the penis in happiness.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
