Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize