It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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