OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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