Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
