I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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