Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
