Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
