"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
