My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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