i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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