she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
