let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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