I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
