i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So much Jack, so little girl.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
