Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
