Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
