So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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