Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
