she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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