i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
