Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
