I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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