That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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