we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize