There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
