O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
