Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
