my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
