i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize