don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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