If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize