yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
