The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
