butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
