But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
