I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
