im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize