So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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