dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
