So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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