it wasn't lemon gatorade
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
