Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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