just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have aggressive nipples.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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