I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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