I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
