btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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