I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
