we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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