Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize