dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
