If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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