I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
