Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
