Say something about gay babies.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize