In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
