i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
