a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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