i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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