She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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