if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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